Te-hee-la, but I really don't mind how you pronounce it. I'm used to hearing all sorts of renditions. Reaching out is what counts, not how to pronounce my name. But for those who are wondering what it means: it's Hebrew for Song of Praise.
How long are your sessions?
All sessions are 1.5 hours long unless otherwise requested. Defusing depressions first session is 2 hours long. Workshops are either half-day (3 hours) or full-day (5 hours). Full-day sessions are usually 10.30-12.30 followed by a lunch break (not included in price) and continues from 13.30 until 16.30.
Or 9.00-11.30 then 13.00 until 16.00.
How many sessions will it take?
It is entirely dependent on the situation. I aim to support you as quickly as possible though and don't want you to have to come for longer than necessary. Counselling is unfortunately not a quick fix and can take time. But with BWRT it has become a lot quicker (sometimes being able to deal with issues that could have taken months to be dealt with in one session - especially phobias, fears and past trauma).
Couples Counselling is according to your needs, participation & assessment. I have found between 1 and 3 workshops very effective and my couples have LOVED the workshops over traditional weekly sessions.
After the workshop(s) we can do traditional sessions as needed.
Who do you not work with?
I do not work with anyone who doesn't want to be there or feel they have anything to learn and so not want to participate in the process - where (s)he may feel that it's purely the partner's fault and so they are not willing to learn and grow from the counselling process.
I work with people who want to learn and grow, at least at an individual level. You do not have to know how to fix things, just that you want to.
I do not work with couples where there is ongoing domestic violence.
I do not work with couples where one or both partners have an addiction that is not currently being treated.
I do not work with couples where I feel individual counselling is more important and they don't go to it.
What is your success rate?
With a commitment from both partners to hear, learn and participate my success rate is high.
Do you accept medical aid?
Yes, my individual sessions are covered by medical aid, depending on your cover. However, I don't deal directly with the claims to medical aid. You need to settle your account directly with me, then provide me with your medical aid membership number to put on the receipt for you to submit to them. It is your sole responsibility to check with your medical aid as I do not accept any responsibility if payment from them is denied.
NOTE: Couples workshops are not covered by medical aid.
Why a relationship assessment?
There are two different paid assessments that I offer. The SYMBIS or the Gottman Relationship House.
The SYMBIS is a great tool to give you insight into personality differences, how they work together (and where they don't - and how to navigate the differences). It's a 19-20 page report that you each get to keep and has some nice questions within the report that you get to review with each other at home again after therapy.
The Gottman SRH assessment is based on the science-based approach of The Gottman Institute (couples counselling pioneers in the field of couples therapy for many years). You do not get to keep the report, but I help you understand where you two don't agree on elements of the relationship. It also has a nifty screening tool (that screens for possible depression, anxiety, anger/hostility, etc).
And there are two other links for other assessments that I add for additional insight. This assessment allows me a deeper insight into your relationships (past and present) so that I can better help you both build a stronger home. Through the assessment, we are going beyond just treating the symptoms to the deeper cause of the problems so we can treat accurately.
My partner doesn't want to come with to couples counselling?
If you were both sitting on either side of a plant and I asked you each to draw it, you would draw me two different pictures. Because of your different abilities to draw and also because of your different perspectives on the same plant. Couples counselling with just one partner is much harder because I only get to see your perspective on the situation. However, couples counselling can work if the other refuses to come. It's just a much slower process and not always as effective. But I can teach you the tools and you take them home to try them out. Coming together to the sessions is preferable though, as I do a full MRI (assessment) and then we work together on the hurdles.
Why should I see a Relationship Counsellor?
If you are struggling with food, happiness, relationship issues, past hurts and betrayals or find yourself very hard on yourself there's a good chance that shame is ruining your relationships. My job is to help you process past trauma's, recognise the unhelpful self-criticism and break bad habits so that you can accurately see who you are and live life with purpose.
What is the difference between a psychologist, a counsellor and a psychiatrist?
In brief a psychologist is someone who has obtained no less than a masters degree specialising in deep therapy and for more severe psychological issues and mental disorders; a psychiatrist has specialised in the medical side of psychology and is someone who is qualified in prescribing medication for various mental disorders and issues; and a registered counselloris a qualified mental health professional specialising in various elements of supporting people to cope with life events, setbacks, various relationship issues and concerns.
Are all counsellors 'equal'?
Unfortunately not. There are many institutions offering brief counselling courses and thereafter people call themselves counsellors, coaches or therapists. The only counsellors with legal backing are those who have a university degree and post-graduate degree (honours degree) who are registered with the HPCSA (the Health Professions Council of South Africa). All doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists and counsellors need to be registered with them. They are the ethical and protective counsel to protect the public. Counsellors who have registered with the HPCSA have done their post-graduate degree's in psychology, completed a stringent board exam and done at least 6 months of supervised training.
Are you a Christian counsellor?
Yes. But I find this rather hard to answer. There are so many divisions within Christianity. I am spiritual, and I believe I have a lovely relationship with God & Jesus. But I also don't believe in excluding anyone due to religious beliefs (or lack thereof) and so, only talk about religion if you want to. My beliefs and relationship with Jesus are personal, but I also know that for those of us that are spiritual/religious, our faith is a big part of our identity! Therefore, I do talk about religion, should you wish to in counselling.
I am not here to judge anyone though, it's unethical and more importantly, judging people does not fit with me as a person.
When are you available?
My office hours are Monday to Friday from 09h00 to 16h30.
Contact me to find out more about the Saturday or public holiday options (for couples - minimum of 3 hours).
My annual leave is always from around the 15th of December to around the 15th of January, and I also travel abroad once a year for a couples conference (that I have the privilege of being invited to annually).
Do you work on Saturdays?
I am willing to work on Saturdays if booked for a minimum of three (maximum 5) hours. Weekend rates are R1 000.00 per hour.